Mediation Solicitors.

Family Mediation

Family mediation is a confidential process in which an independent and impartial mediator helps separating couples, parents and other family members discuss issues, identify possible solutions and try to reach an agreement.

The mediator does not take sides, decide who is right or impose an outcome. Instead, the mediator manages the discussions, helps the participants communicate and provides general information about the issues they may need to consider.

Family mediation can assist married couples, civil partners, unmarried couples, parents who have never lived together and, in suitable cases, other family members. It can be used before, during or after divorce, dissolution or separation.

This guide principally covers family mediation in England and Wales. Different court procedures and legal arrangements apply in Scotland and Northern Ireland.

What Can Family Mediation Cover?

Mediation can be used to discuss a wide range of family issues, including arrangements for children, finances, property and communication following separation.

Arrangements for Children

Parents may use mediation to discuss:

• where a child will live;
• how much time the child will spend with each parent;
• weekend and weekday arrangements;
• school holidays and special occasions;
• collection and return arrangements;
• telephone and video contact;
• education and choice of school;
• medical treatment;
• religious and cultural upbringing;
• introducing new partners;
• travel and holidays abroad;
• relocation within the UK or overseas; and
• how future decisions will be made.

The aim is to help parents focus on the Child's needs rather than treating the process as a dispute in which one parent must win and the other must lose.

Financial and Property Issues

Mediation can also address the financial consequences of separation or divorce, including:

• what should happen to the family home;
• other property and investments;
• mortgages and secured borrowing;
• bank accounts and savings;
• business interests;
• pensions;
• debts and liabilities;
• maintenance for a spouse or civil partner;
• financial support for children;
• personal belongings and vehicles;
• tax implications; and
• future financial independence.

Unmarried couples have different legal rights from married couples and civil partners. Mediation can still assist, but each person should understand the legal framework before making final decisions about ownership, occupation or financial claims.

Communication and Parenting Plans

Mediation may help parents agree on how they will communicate, exchange information and deal with future changes. The outcome may be recorded in a parenting plan covering day-to-day arrangements and longer-term decisions.

This can be particularly useful where the parents will need to maintain an ongoing relationship for many years despite the end of their relationship as a couple.

What Are the Advantages of Family Mediation?

The Participants Retain Control

In mediation, the participants decide whether an agreement is reached and what its terms should be. The mediator does not impose a result.

This differs from court proceedings, where a judge or magistrate may make a decision that neither person regards as ideal.

It Can Reduce Conflict

Mediation encourages structured communication rather than adversarial correspondence. It may help reduce hostility and allow parents to concentrate on practical arrangements and their children's welfare

Although mediation cannot repair every relationship, it can help establish a more workable method of communication following separation.

It May Be Quicker

Mediation can often begin and conclude sooner than contested family court proceedings. The length of the process will depend on the complexity of the issues, the availability of financial information and the willingness of each participant to negotiate.

Complex financial cases may require several sessions, professional valuations and legal advice before an informed agreement can be reached.

It May Cost Less

Mediation is often less expensive than prolonged negotiations through solicitors or contested court proceedings. The cost will depend on the mediator's fees, the number of sessions and whether legal, valuation or financial advice is also required.

Each person should ask at the outset how fees will be charged and whether they will be shared equally or in another proportion.

It Is Private

Family mediation is conducted privately. Discussions are generally confidential and cannot ordinarily be referred to in court as evidence of what one party offered or proposed.

There are important exceptions, particularly where there are safeguarding concerns, threats of serious harm, suspected money laundering or another legal obligation to disclose information.

It Can Be Flexible

Mediation can consider practical arrangements that a court may not have the power or time to address in detail. Sessions can take place in person or online, and the process can be adapted to participants' needs and safety.

It May Support Longer-Term Cooperation

Where participants create their own arrangements, they may be more willing to follow them and adapt them when circumstances change. This can be particularly valuable where parents need to continue making decisions together.

However, no process can guarantee that an agreement will be followed or prevent future disagreement.

What is a MIAM?

A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, usually called a MIAM, is an initial meeting with an authorised family mediator.

At the MIAM, the mediator will usually:

• explain how mediation works;
• discuss other forms of non-court dispute resolution;
• consider whether mediation is suitable;
• identify any safety or safeguarding concerns;
• discuss whether separate or online sessions may be appropriate;
• explain likely costs;
• consider eligibility for legal aid; and
• explain what happens if mediation does not proceed.

The MIAM is normally held separately with each person. Attending a MIAM does not require either person to agree to mediation or to reach a settlement.

Is a MIAM Required Before Going to Court?

Before making many applications concerning children or financial remedies, a prospective applicant must normally attend a MIAM unless a valid exemption applies.

The requirement is to attend an information and assessment meeting, not to complete mediation or reach an agreement.

The mediator who conducts the MIAM must be authorised to sign the relevant court documentation.

MIAM Exemptions

A person may be exempt from attending a MIAM in specified circumstances. These may include:

• appropriate evidence of domestic abuse;
• urgent applications;
• risk of harm to a child;
• certain child-protection concerns;
• where the dispute concerns a child who is already involved in specified proceedings;
• where there has been recent attendance at a qualifying MIAM or other non-court process;
• where the other person cannot be located;
• where mediation is not practically accessible in the particular circumstances; or
• other exemptions set out in the Family Procedure Rules.

The court may require evidence supporting an exemption. A person should not assume that difficult communication or the other party's unwillingness to compromise automatically removes the MIAM requirement.

The Court's Approach to Non-Court Resolution

The family court expects parties to consider mediation and other appropriate methods of resolving disputes outside court. Judges may ask what steps have been taken and whether non-court dispute resolution remains suitable.

In appropriate cases, the court may adjourn proceedings to allow mediation or another process to take place. The parties' conduct may also be relevant to costs, particularly in financial proceedings.

How Does Family Mediation Work?

Initial Assessment

Each participant will usually attend an individual meeting with the mediator. The mediator will assess suitability, explain confidentiality and discuss any concerns about safety, intimidation or unequal bargaining power.

Joint or Separate Sessions

Where mediation proceeds, the participants may meet together with the mediator. This can take place in the same room or through an online meeting.

Where direct discussion is unsuitable, the mediator may consider a form of shuttle mediation in which the participants remain separate, and the mediator moves between them. This is not appropriate in every case and does not necessarily remove all risks created by coercion or intimidation.

Identifying the Issues

The mediator will help the participants identify the questions that need to be resolved and decide the order in which to discuss them.

Children's arrangements and urgent short-term financial issues may need to be addressed before the parties consider a final settlement.

Financial Disclosure

Financial mediation requires each participant to provide full and honest information about their financial circumstances. This may include:

• property valuations;
• mortgage statements;
• bank and savings statements;
• investment information;
• pension valuations;
• business accounts;
• income documents;
• tax returns;
• debts and credit commitments; and
• details of anticipated assets or liabilities.

The mediator may assist the participants in identifying the required documents, but will not conduct a forensic investigation or compel disclosure as a court can.

Where there is concern that assets are being hidden, information is unreliable, or one party refuses to provide disclosure, mediation may need to be paused or ended. At the same time, legal advice is obtained.

Exploring Options

Once sufficient information is available, the mediator will help the participants identify possible outcomes and assess their feasibility.

The mediator may provide neutral legal or practical information, but should not tell either participant what they personally ought to accept.

Recording Proposals

Where proposals are reached, the mediator may prepare documents recording:

• the financial information provided;
• the proposals under consideration;
• any parenting arrangements; and
• the steps required to make the outcome legally binding.

The exact names and format of the documents may differ between mediation services.

Are Mediation Agreements Legally Binding?

Proposals reached in family mediation are not usually legally binding merely because the mediator has recorded them.

For financial arrangements following divorce or dissolution, the parties will normally need solicitors to prepare a consent order and submit it to the court for approval. The judge must be satisfied that the proposed order is appropriate before making it binding.

A financial consent order can deal with property, lump sums, maintenance, pensions and the dismissal of future claims. Without an effective order, financial claims may remain open even after an informal agreement has been followed.

Arrangements for children may be followed by agreement without a court order. Where a binding order is required, the parties may apply for a consent order, although the court will consider whether making an order is necessary and consistent with the Child's welfare.

The Role of Solicitors in Family Mediation

A family mediator must remain impartial and cannot act as the personal legal adviser of either participant.

A mediator may provide general legal information, but cannot tell one person whether a proposal is in their individual best interests or advise them to accept or reject it.

A family solicitor can advise before, during and after mediation by:

• explaining legal rights and possible court outcomes;
• identifying information or valuations that may be required;
• reviewing financial disclosure;
• advising on proposed arrangements;
• helping formulate settlement options;
• identifying tax, pension or property issues;
• preparing a consent order;
• advising on enforceability; and
• starting or defending proceedings where mediation does not resolve the dispute.

Legal advice can be particularly important before a final financial proposal is accepted because an apparently simple division of assets may have long-term consequences.

Child-Inclusive Mediation

What Is Child-Inclusive Mediation?

Child-inclusive mediation gives a child or young person an opportunity to speak privately with a mediator who has received specialist training.

The purpose is to allow the Child's views, wishes and feelings to be heard as part of the process. It is not to ask the Child to choose between parents or make the final decision.

Will the Child's Views Be Shared?

The mediator will explain confidentiality to the Child. The Child will normally decide what information, if any, may be shared with the parents, subject to safeguarding exceptions.

The mediator may then provide agreed feedback to the parents to inform their discussions.

When Is Child-Inclusive Mediation Appropriate?

Suitability will depend on the Child's age, maturity, wishes and circumstances. Both parents will normally need to agree to the process, and the Child must also be willing to participate.

Child-inclusive mediation should be conducted only by a mediator who is appropriately trained and registered for this work.

Children should not be placed under pressure, asked to negotiate with their parents or made responsible for resolving the dispute.

When May Mediation Be Unsuitable?

Mediation is not appropriate in every case. It may be unsuitable where:

• there is domestic abuse or coercive and controlling behaviour;
• one person is afraid of the other;
• there is a serious safeguarding risk;
• a child may be at immediate risk of harm;
• urgent protective orders are required;
• one party cannot negotiate freely or safely;
• there is serious substance misuse or untreated illness affecting participation;
• assets are being hidden or removed;
• one party persistently refuses financial disclosure;
• there is a significant risk that property or money will be dissipated;
• the whereabouts of the other party are unknown; or
• a binding judicial determination is required.

The existence of disagreement does not by itself make mediation unsuitable. The mediator will assess whether the process can be conducted fairly and safely.

Domestic Abuse and Safeguarding

A mediator should screen separately for domestic abuse, intimidation, coercive control and safeguarding concerns before mediation begins.

Where there is an immediate risk, court proceedings, police involvement or specialist domestic abuse support may be more appropriate than mediation.

Protective court orders can include non-molestation orders, occupation orders, prohibited steps orders and other urgent child-related orders.

A person should not be pressured into mediation where they cannot participate safely or make decisions freely.

Can Mediation Continue if the Participants Cannot Meet Together?

In suitable cases, mediation can take place online or through separate sessions. Practical arrangements may include separate arrival times, separate waiting areas, controlled online access or shuttle mediation.

These measures may make mediation possible in some cases. Still, they are not a substitute for a proper safety assessment.

What Happens if Mediation Is Unsuccessful?

Mediation can end because:

• one participant withdraws;
• the mediator concludes that it is no longer suitable;
• the parties reach agreement on some but not all issues;
• financial information is not provided;
• a safeguarding concern arises; or
• no acceptable agreement can be found.

The mediator may provide the necessary court certification where applicable. Either person can then obtain legal advice and consider negotiation through solicitors, arbitration or court proceedings.

Partial progress may still be useful. Issues that have been agreed can sometimes be recorded while the remaining dispute is dealt with separately.

Family Arbitration and Other Alternatives

Mediation is only one form of non-court dispute resolution. Other options may include:

• solicitor-led negotiation;
• collaborative law;
• family arbitration;
• private financial dispute resolution;
• early neutral evaluation; and
• parenting coordination or therapeutic support where appropriate.

In arbitration, an independent arbitrator determines after considering the evidence and arguments. Unlike mediation, the outcome is not negotiated by the parties.

A solicitor can advise which process is most appropriate for the issues, urgency, complexity and level of conflict involved.

How Much Does Family Mediation Cost?

Private mediation fees vary between providers. Charges may apply for:

• the MIAM;
• each mediation session;
• preparing financial summaries;
• recording proposals;
• child-inclusive mediation; and
• administration or document preparation.

Some mediators charge each participant separately, while others charge a combined session fee. The parties may agree to divide the fees equally or otherwise.

Legal Aid for Family Mediation

Legal aid remains available for qualifying family mediation cases, subject to financial eligibility and the nature of the dispute.

Where one participant qualifies for legal aid, public funding may also cover the other participant's MIAM and the first joint mediation session, subject to the applicable rules.

An accredited mediator offering legal-aid work can assess eligibility and explain what evidence of income, capital and benefits is required.

The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme

The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme can provide a contribution of up to £500 towards mediation costs in eligible cases, particularly those involving arrangements for children.

The voucher does not ordinarily cover the cost of the MIAM. Availability depends on eligibility, the mediator's participation in the scheme, and funding remaining available.

The voucher contribution is normally paid directly to the mediator rather than to the participants.

Preparing for Family Mediation

Before attending mediation, it may help to:

• identify the issues that need to be resolved;
• consider the children’s present and future needs;
• collect relevant financial documents;
• prepare a realistic monthly budget;
• obtain property or pension information;
• consider practical rather than purely positional outcomes;
• identify urgent short-term arrangements;
• take independent legal advice; and
• inform the mediator privately of any safety concerns.

Participants should approach mediation honestly and be prepared to consider more than one possible solution.

Finding a Family Mediator or Family Solicitor

Family mediation can provide a constructive and proportionate way to resolve arrangements after separation. Still, it must be safe, informed, and supported by full financial disclosure where money or property is involved.

A family solicitor can advise whether mediation is suitable, explain your legal position, support you during the process and convert any final proposals into an enforceable agreement or court order.

Use the search facility at the top of this page to find a family law solicitor who can advise on mediation, child arrangements, divorce, separation and financial settlements.

This guide provides general information about family mediation in England and Wales. It does not constitute legal advice and should not be relied upon as a substitute for advice about your individual circumstances.