Appointing a Solicitor
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One of the biggest decisions facing couples when a relationship breaks down is what happens with the children, there are many decisions that need to be made, all will be covered in the mediation process.
The most frequently discussed issues are;
- Where will the children reside and with whom
- What happens about the educational arrangements
- What are the contact arrangements both during school term time and school holidays
- What are the contact arrangements for special holidays eg. Christmas and birthdays
- What happens when you want to go on holiday
- What about contact for grandparents, cousins etc
- How should you continue to parent
- What happens on the financial side of things
There could be many other questions that need agreements but these are the most frequently discussed.
It's important that you understand that your relationship breakdown is not a breakdown in either of your relationships with any children, and consideration must be given to ensure your child's upbringing should not be clouded because of your opinion of your ex-partner. If you do let your views of your ex-partner rule the decisions you make concerning your children, you could be doing this to the detriment of your children.
Mediators have found that covering as many aspects relating to child arrangements as possible, will help your future relationship with your ex partner, failure to make comprehensive arrangements can cause disagreement and dislike in the future, a situation that should be avoided at all costs.
It is possible for the mediator to see your children, this will depend on the mediator and the children, all parties must agree with this, often referred to as direct child consultation.
The advantage, once again, on mediation is that you will make the decisions together, not the law that can never know your circumstances as well as you do.
Mediation will guide you through the process at all stages, but it is advisable to seek legal advice to know your rights.
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